Buffalo haven't got wings!

Ok so, since we aspire to be from Western New York, and some of us have grown up on Anchor Bar/authentic Buffalo Wings, we secretly love hot hot orange sticky finger foods.  But we hate animal cruelty and ecological ravagement.  So we thought, there will never be any trashy bar food in our futures.  BOY WERE WE WRONG!

Review: Morning Star

If there's anything we can't stand it's imitation meat.  Or so we say.  Somehow, after a few too many sub-zero nights and a few too many Labatt Blues/Genny Cream Ales, our favorite thing to do is to dance around a toaster oven full of steaming TVP. Morningstar Farms veggie Buffalo wings inspire a veritable ballet from freezer to plate.  They are spicy as all hell, a spice that not even cheap beer can overcome.  They have a bite--it's the sort of spring-back between the jaws that perhaps you thought only animal flesh could deliver.  But there it is--springy! full of protein! unnaturally orange!  And suddenly it's like ordering Mr. Shoes on a blistering summer day in Seabreeze!  Our complaints are few: 1. is that these wings aren't wet.  Alas, at Morningstar science has unlocked the secret to soy-based chicken wings, but not to the frozen-yet-wet food. 2. We don't know how to make TVP do that at home.  We can make fucking killer black bean burgers, breakfast "sausages" or basically whatever, but shreddy, fibrous, chickeny wings remain a mystery.