Baby's first pickles!

So neither Joe nor I have ever made pickles and sometimes we're just not really into recipes, so this recipe is still in development.

"BreadnButter" or Something Pickles
1.5 English Cucumber
1 red onion
1.5 square inch fresh ginger
4 cloves garlic
shit-ton of salt
1/4 cup apple cider vinegar
1/4 cup white distilled vinegar
1/2 cup white sugar

Actual prep time: 10 minutes
Wait time: 2 hours
Makes two jars worth of pickles

1. Slice the cucumbers into 4 large rounds, then julienne those (about the thickness of a slice of onion).
   
2. Slice the onion into long strips (about the same length as the julienned cukes).
3. Put these in a bowl and cover it with salt.
4. Crush and mince garlic and ginger and put it in the same bowl, adding some more salt.
5. Leave these in the fridge for like 30-60 minutes (I could barely stand to wait longer than 30 minutes).
6. When these come out, they will be about half the size by volume that they were originally.  
7. Mix the two types of vinegar and the sugar until the sugar is dissolved. 
8. Stuff the vegetable matter in a mason jar and pour the vinegar/sugar mixture over it. Lid it and put it back in the refrigerator for an hour.

January cleaning prompts separate pickle shelf (yes the labels are necessary)

Results: So I know that I didn't do the proper sanitation procedure for canning, but these pickles were gone within two days because they were so good. Another thing is that they were less crunchy each day.  I think maybe this had something to do with the fact that I used iodized salt instead of canning salt.  I'm not actually convinced that canning salt is any different than table salt, maybe someone can shed some light on that topic for me.  As for the taste of the pickles, the ginger infused the cukes and onions so thoroughly that it made me want to cry with joy every time I took a bite.  I think four cloves was just the right amount of garlic too, although these were pretty small cloves.

Sloppy Joes-in development

Tonight our very own Sloppy Joe made his first vegan sloppy joes. They were delicious, but the recipe is still in development. Here it is as we made it. We served it on french bread, which isn't vegan, so we didn't feel remiss adding a little colby jack, with a side of sweet potato fries.

Sloppy Joes
2 cups dry TVP
half a block of extra-firm tofu
1 can of black beans, rinsed
half a yellow onion, diced
4 cloves garlic, minced
1 packet of Meijer sloppy joe powder
3 tbsp olive oil
2 oz tomato paste
1/3 cup apple cider vinegar
1 tbsp dijon mustard
2 tbsp ketchup
2 tbsp beer
1 tbsp cumin
a pinch of rubbed sage
1.5 tsp ground mustard
a pinch of onion powder
1 tsp hot togarashi powder
a pinch of salt
a pinch of pepper
Prep time: 30 minutes

Sweet potato fries
1 sweet potato cut into fries
2 tbsp olive oil
pinch of curry powder

pinch of nutmeg

1. Pour boiling water over the TVP and let it soak until soft. Oven should be preheating at 425.
   
2. Brown the diced onion in olive oil over med. heat. Salt generously.
   
3. Add the TVP and tofu. Mash the tofu until it's in tiny crumbles. Add the seasoning packet.
4. Add black beans.
5. Toss sweet potato with olive oil, nutmeg and curry powder. Throw them in the oven when it's up to temperature. Cook for 10 minutes before turning and cooking for another 10 minutes.
   
6. When the things in the skillet are hot but not cooked all the way through, add ketchup, mustard, and spices.
7. Add beer and let that cook down a bit.
8. Add tomato paste, vinegar and a little more olive oil. All the while keep mixing the stuff until it's sticky and holds together, but still wet and sloppy like a Manwich.
   

Results: that shit tasted like a meaty sloppy joe. Next time I don't think we'll be using the Meijer brand spice packet. For one thing, there was hardly enough to cover all the proteins, and for another it wasn't very strong. The ketchup, beer, and dijon mustard made it all a touch too sweet. Eventually we added enough vinegar and cumin to make the sweetness unnoticeable. Also the togadashi powder made it spicy, in a good way, but not in an all-american way. Leave it to Joe, that pinko.

The sweet potato fries kicked ass as usual.

Holy SHIT healthy Spinach and Artichoke Dip

We made this dip for our playoffs party.  Colts shred Ravens like Joey and Jocey shred cheese!  We served it with blue and white corn tortilla chips and it was a huge hit.

Spinach & Artichoke Dip
1 cup finely grated gruyere
1 cup finely grated parmesan
.5 quart of plain whole yogurt
a bunch of fresh spinach, chopped or a bunch of frozen spinach, thawed, drained, and chopped
1 sweet yellow onion, diced
3-5 cloves of garlic, minced into paste
2 tbsp olive oil
almost a whole jar of artichoke hearts in olive oil

paprika 1/2 tsp
coriander to taste (I use a pinch)
cumin to taste (I use at least a tsp, probably more)

Prep time: how fast can you grate cheese?  No seriously it takes like 10 minutes to make, but a while to bake.

1. Heat up some olive oil and toss in the onions, cover with salt and sautee on low heat.  After several minutes of cooking, add the coriander and cumin.
   
2. Preheat the oven to 425. Mix the yogurt and cheese in a glass loaf pan.
3. Chop the spinach and toss it and the minced garlic in when the onions are getting tender.  Since it takes like 2 minutes to wilt spinach, just make sure the onions are mostly cooked but with a little bite left to them.  The garlic should be a paste: mince the garlic, sprinkle sea salt on it, and drag a knife over the salt until it grates the garlic into mush.  Because it is so fine, it needs very little time to cook, so be careful it doesn't brown.
4. Meanwhile rough chop the artichoke hearts, and mix the hearts and everything from your skillet into the yogurt mixture.  Add the paprika, and more cumin if you feel like the onions didn't get enough.
5. Bake at 425 for 45 minutes (it will not be hot through, it will be more like warm.  If you want it hot, like I did but could not wait for, bake for at least an hour).

 
Results: I call this dish healthy because I use yogurt instead of sour cream.  Yogurt has about 150 calories per cup, whereas sour cream has about 60 calories for 2 tbsp.  2 tbsp is only like a handful of chips worth of dip.  That's ridiculous, kind of like the Ravens losing 3 to 20 in a playoff game.  I'm not sure that parmesan and gruyere are very healthy, but they seem healthier by virtue of being European, rather than American cheeses.  One thing is: don't forget to chop the spinach.  Think about how wet spinach sticks together: once it's wilted, it's going to be in a clump.  Next time I think I might add some fresh tomato on top.

Not Tofurkey

Man fuck tofu on Thanksgiving.  It's not that I'm not thankful for it, but it's not a substitute for meat!  It's a protein meritorious enough not to be disguised as something I for one wouldn't want to pollute my body with anyway (yeah I said it, although you probably don't even want to fight about it because you're too tired from your tryptophan and over-eating induced siesta).

So me and Joey made a variation on a common holiday theme: stuffed squash.

HolyshitI'msothankful for Harvest Vegetables!

1 butternut squash cut in half (be careful!)
4 oz of nice semi-soft chevre
1 honey-crisp or other apple that can stand up to medium high heat
1 red onion
1 beet
4 tbsp olive oil or butter
4 tbsp apple cider vinegar
a few sprigs of thyme
fresh nutmeg
1 clove garlic
1 in. cube fresh ginger

1. The first thing to do is get the squash and beets a-roasting cuz that shit takes forever.  Preheat oven to 400 while you cube the beets.  I always leave the skin because in it, 'all the virtue of the vegetable is contained.'  Toss them with olive oil and vinegar and roast until they pass the fork test.
2. While that's going on, scrape all the seeds out of the squash, and also about an inch wide trench in the long part.  These can be roasted in a glass pan with a 1/2 inch of water surrounding the bottom.
   
   
   
3. Dice the onion, get that browning in large skillet with a couple tbsp of olive oil.
4. Add crushed ginger about 5 minutes before the onions are tender.
5. Add a splash of vinegar and the crushed garlic about 3 minutes before the onions are tender.
6. Add the leaves of thyme and cubed apple bits.
7. Add grated nutmeg about 2 minutes before everything is all tender and starting to really mingle.
8. Stuff the squash with the mix, and sprinkle chunked chevre over it.

This can easily be wrapped and popped in the oven or microwave around the time that your meat-eating family members are nearly ready to take the turkey out.

Results:  I like this better than the version I usually make with acorn squash, although I like the look of acorn squash better because it's like an individual bowl, and this you have to share and divide in weird ways.  The beets are the most beautiful fuschia against the yellow of the squash, and they taste exceptionally sweet and tasty with the apples.  The tarter the apples the better I say, and that tartness is emphasized by the vinegar.  I think next year I will use a balsamic reduction instead of apple cider vinegar.  A lot of people asked me rather pointedly just what our entree was at this past Thanksgiving, but even with the enthusiastic and elaborate descriptions I'm partial to, this dish just really needs to be tasted.